why I live in New York City

[Overheard at a NYC diner]

She: Is there any way you can speed it up a little? I've got an appointment downtown and I can't be late.

He: You ordered a burger, medium well. There's a physics involved. It takes time for the meat to get to the right temperature.

She: Well, in that case, just never mind.

He: Uh. Okay.

She: Can you tell me? Where is the closest subway stop to get downtown?

He: Sure, go down a block, turn right...

She: Yes?

He: When you get there, there'll be a guy in the booth...

She: Uh huh.

He: Ask him if he can speed up the train a little.